By: Animesh Ray
My mother brought me to America when I was a child. My father brought us here after a brief stint working in America. I was only two years old at the time, and my memories of my first steps are still hazy. However, as an immigrant from a country with a strong accent, learning English wasn’t the ideal starting point. At the time, English was considered my second language. Speaking would become increasingly difficult as the years progressed. My family would also be unhelpful. It was more challenging for me to begin my journey as an only child with few to no ties. The hill is steep there, which is proven to be a major challenge in my journey to get out of this language barrier with the accent.
As I attended a public school that was predominantly white in Astoria, Queens, my language barrier would be proven in my grades. On my report card, dominant 1 and 2’s would show as my grade. I had always hated the fact that I can’t do better than before as I moved up in grades. To this day, I might have that report card showing the hard start of my journey in America. It snapshots the language experience I had. In class, I would take my time to learn the alphabet, but the accent just always made it off, “a b c d –e fs uhh h”. Luckily, I had others who were in the same boat as me who was in my class as well. Some goodwill people would help correct me, “No Animesh it’s a b c d e f g, you forgot the g.” I can see some others struggling just like me. This was all in Pre-kindergarten though. I don’t know how I made it through with such low grades in English. In math, I would keep 3’s steady. Still, the English language would make me struggle to answer questions and understand what they were saying. Words like emotions always were a stumbling block to me. The teacher would say about a character in fiction is very motivated, sensitive, and confused. I wouldn’t get the context or comprehend what they were intending to say. Looking back at this, I look dumb in contrast to the current me. Of course, experiencing trouble in ELA wouldn’t be the only problem. Another hurdle would be completely unnecessary. My English was called “stupid” by classmates from kindergarten to first grade. I wouldn’t call it bullying, but they would frequently criticize my accent, which I enunciate, as if I didn’t already have problems with it in terms of reading, writing, and speaking. They were also all white. This made me want to get out with other students who have accents. I used to hang out with a friend named Mohammed (yes, a fairly popular name). We ended up becoming excellent friends. Those who mocked me and my friend would be ignored. Later on, I made more connections with people that had accents. To be honest, this kept my morale high and to keep persevering through hardships that came my way.
The hill was still there. But I slowly climbed it despite the obstacles that I had like rice packs on my shoulder. Recalling the moment brought memories of the barriers that I had to face. As I moved to Elmhurst, Queens, I was assigned to an ESL program throughout my school years. I had to complete a program that demonstrated my weakness in English Language Arts. You are picked from English class by the ESL teacher we had with us, along with others who are inadequate in English outside in the hall, for this program. We’d start our random exercise here, with handouts of other short English readings and questions to respond to. These are inquiries such as, “What is this dog picture trying to tell the reader?” It was basically just a dog trying to get the attention of its owner in the most basic way possible by barking. They would give us packets of extra work of “fun” ways to understand the intent of a particular image which is like some of the easiest questions ever. At one point my ESL teacher asked me if I’m answering these questions like nothing and asked, “what did you have for breakfast.” This was clearly an indication that ESL was a breeze. The environment was very quiet with just a few students answering the simple questions slowly as the teacher lectured us. This program just stuck with me. I didn’t feel like this shouldn’t be the case as I feel like I can do well in the regular English class with others. My reasoning is that I was mixing well with the proficient students and the English teacher I had at the time, would know my strengths in the class by talking about my participation and comprehension. But because of my background being an immigrant, they had to put me in it. This was for other students, and I recall this being unfair to us. I got into this class when I came at a young age to America and had been admitted into a public white institution. This carried onto different schools as I moved along in grade level. I just didn’t want to do this program, and get it over and done with. I passed the exam that ESL gave in 5th grade that was in a room with the same exact experience as the English State Exam. I was free from those shackles. My experience in it wasn’t bad as it was extra practice technically and I didn’t mind the extra help but the necessity for it was just not sitting well with me. Sooner or later, I turned over a new leaf with the English conflict I had. The accent was clearing up more and I feel like more experience made me get over it. I still stutter in my speech, but I improved gradually.
In the apartment I had moved to in Elmhurst Queens, I had grown newer friendships as I lost old contact with my friends from Astoria that had accents. Luckily, my family always connects with other Bengalis that have an accent in English as well. My struggle with an English accent is relatable to my parents and to the community we newly moved in with. They wouldn’t be able to understand English very well, it was because they were immigrants first and foremost, but they were making their English better by talking with other people that had accents. This is like my case. I feel like it all comes to experience with the English accent helps make it better. Of course, it includes the environment you are in as well, like if you weren’t around English people most of your life, you wouldn’t develop in my opinion.
Accents have played an important role in the lives of many immigrants. Even the most awful instances, such as excessive bullying, are experienced by people with accents. I can imagine their despair, and I wish they all make it through as I did. I overcame that obstacle by being patient and relying on the time when speaking more and more English at school would gradually make me more natural to the language. Friends, as previously said, would play an important role in this, both in and out of school. They make a significant contribution to your linguistic skills development. Society runs on higher social significance with people with better accents getting ahead of themselves and starting to do their worst. I would theorize what would happen to me if I succumbed to that form of discouragement from other groups. Would I be able to be here like I am today? What if I was a native speaker of where the majority was from? These thoughts would flood my brain. But in the end, I feared not. You can outdo them with time and patience. The motivation is to never give up your dreams and fight through what can traumatize you and put you back. Always find support and relatable people to boost your self-esteem. At the end of the tunnel, there is the light through the dark area of issues with the language barriers.
